I'm a little yellow fish in the DEEP blue sea.

I'm reading this book called 'Thirteen reasons why' by Jay Asher. Its fooking amazing, and it really makes me think. Its about this girl who commited suicide and gives tapes to thirteen people telling them why she died and that basically it was there fault. A bit sick and twisted i know, but its the way its written. Its the little things that people overlooked that made her commit suicide.

And it makes me think of those outcasts or 'unpopular' people at school or whatever that just get abused and taken for granted everyday. I'm sure everyone would regret their actions if they suddenly disappeared. I know its obviously difficult to think of being nice to everyone and everything all the time. But i just think that next time someone talks to me that is classed as an outcast or that no one likes, imma talk to them, cause it might just make their day or make them happier in some way. Even if its just a 'hi, you alright' kinda convo. I think that people overlook little things. And usually its the little things built up that get to people and give long term effects. I see it a lot in films ( i know its not real in films but it must go on nowadays ) they tend to seem cool as a cucumber on the outside but inside they feel like shiteee. You just have to be the one that notices the pain behind their eyes and do something about it. Cheesy as it sounds. Paha.

Anyway, being nice doesn't always pay off. I mean they may be freaks and become obsessed with you or something. So my wisdom for today is 'Be nice, but in moderation'

K BYE.

Why don't you be the writer and decide the words I say.

Cause I'd rather pretend, I'll still be there at the end. Only its too hard to ask, won't you try to help me?

I fucking love Ellie Goulding.

Blahhh. I looked like a drowned rat today. Really not fun. Stupid english weather.

Ok here are the things i must right about.

Flannels.

Sohinip.

Crayons.

Dan.

Bran Flakes.

Done dange. thank you very much ;)

I'm gonna talk about love at first sight.

I think its a load of rubbish really; i don't believe that you can fall in love with someone as soon as you look at them. Thats really shallow, i mean you must be only judging them on their looks because you've no idea about his/her personality. I hate people that only think about looks when looking for a partner, i mean they could be complete tossers or treat you badly or anything like that. Love takes a long time to develop. And those people who are together for what... a week; and are all soppy like 'i love you' annoy me. Its not real love its just that 'omg i don't want to be apart from you, new romance love' So whenever you find somebody with the perfect mix of looks and personality and everything else. Bloody hold onto them, because they're difficult to find.

Rant over.

Mums telling me to log off. ¬¬

♥

Seeing as this is my blog, i'm gonna write about me.

This blog contains random uninteresting stuff that you probably don't really care about.

And i've decided to copy everyones theme, as they all seem to be doing lists of things.

So here goes :) oh and thanks to everyone that follows me. All 3 of you ;) ♥

- I hate my middle name, therefore i'm not going to say it. Mwahaha.

- I had an operation at 12 months, on my kidney. Basically it was clogged up and they had to empty the fluid or something, and maybe take it out. But they didn't. I have 2 kidneys one slightly weaker which is why i drink and therefore pee more. I have a scar there. I don't like it. Its ugly. But it makes me, me.

- I'm half french. I like and dislike this advantage. The dislikes are mainly due to the mother. Pressure and shiz.

- I discovered that I love photography a few years ago, and my camera is very important to me. So if you handle my camera, i may bite your head off, but ignore me.

- I have obsessions. With the strangest of things.

- Music seems to have a significant effect on how i'm feeling. It instantly makes me feel better. I'd love to be a proffesional singer, or musician, but i just haven't been able to get off my arse and do something about it. I've started playing guitar now though.

- I don't have regrets. Because in the end, it makes you who you are. And i like who i am. (i so didn't steal this of 30 seconds to mars' new video.)

- I love Ghandi. He iz god.

- I try not to follow trends or keep to whats 'in' at the minute. It annoys the hell outta me when people say 'thats so last year!' Its like no, just shut up.

- I get on with my parents relatively well. My dad is brilliant, he may complain and be ill 24/7 due to lack of sleep, but he respects me. My mum, well she can be incredibly selfish at times, like if i don't get an A in my french exam she says she'll be embarrassed, as shes a governer and needs to keep to her high status. Its very patronising. And its my exams, not hers. But shes also very honest, and will tell me if i look like a douchebag, which is always good.

- I use commas a lot in my sentences, it makes it sound more realistic with the 'pause' and basically because i'm cool.

- I don't handle difficult situations very well. I don't usually have difficult situations, but right now; corrr. Confusion is written all over my face.

- I don't like war. When it all comes up on the news, I literally can't watch it. The soldiers are so brave, i would never have the balls to do what they do everyday.

- I only like cold drinks, with the occasional hot chocolate.

- Baked beans make me puke. And sweetcorn.

- Jude Law is the devil in uniform. I dream about putting pins in his eyes. Its fun.

- I HAVE to watch home and away everyday. Its brilliant yet rubbish at the same time. Especially since Romeo is now in it. Massive improvement as he is sex on legs.

- You all need to see Remember me on dvd. It is incredible. I cry everytime, and it has rpattz in which is always a plus really. He is also sex on legs.

- Nobody is perfect. The ones that are close to it, annoy me immensely. Its only jealousy though.

- I'm on facebook way too much.

- I struggle to say the words 'I love you.' I say it to my friends in passing, i don't mean it. I do love them obviously, i just can't say it seriously. I haven't said those word to my parents in... what 10 years.

- Sometimes i don't understand why people like me. Like, like me like me. I don't know, i'm paranoid like that ;) The few that do. Or have. Which is like 1 ha. Mean a lot to me.

- My friends mean everything to me. I hate hurting their feelings. Which i hope i don't do very often.

♥

Well she was wearing a skirt

And he thought she looked nice

And yes, she didn't really care about anything else

'Cause she only wanted him to think that she looked nice

And he did.

Right birds can fly so high
And they can shit on your head yea,
And they can almost fly into your eye
And make you feel well scared yeah,
But when you look at them
And you see that they're beautiful
That's how I feel about you
Yeah that's how I feel about you.

♥

Kate Nash - Birds. I don't like her. But her lyrics are immense.

Thanks for reading.

I dream with my eyes open.

'Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but its very important that you do it' - Ghandi.

Looonnngggg day man. Wake up, go to school to find my one and only lesson cancelled. Not too impressed. Chilled with the mingers, went home, went to town with the father, saw some gorgeous people... ahem. Went home, photoshoot with sally, wicked pictures. Back home, dancing, back home, guitar and now i'm here! HIUYRRR. Blimey, shattered.

I've discovered thats its impossible for me to find comfortable shoes. Flip flops give me a cut between the toes, gladiator shoes give me a blister UNDERNEATH my foot (not sure how thats possible), pumps give a blister on the side of the heel. And trainers... just... aren't cool so. Its basically a no win situation. NO shoes fit me.

Deep and meaningful shiz can be on the next blog, i can't think of anything right now.

YOU SUCK PENIS.

Gay.

you smell like wee wee.

Whoahhh i haven't wrote a blog in around 3 days!

So i was just thinking about this obsession i have with robert pattinson and how ridiculous it is.

I mean, i haven't exactly met him in real life, so for all i know he could be a right cunt. But his face is just... phwoarrr. So i guess i'm biased towards that. Then again that is very shallow of me to just base it on looks. TO CONCLUDE, i'm confused :D

Just some recent snappage i have taken :)

poop

I suck at everything in life.

Bye.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

If i'm being completely honest, you're growing on me. I like you more and more everyday.

OK. BIG NEWS. well its not really that big xD

Alex Lambert. Thats the news. Not Adam Lambert, he sucks and wears too much make up. If he scruffed up his hair instead of the Jedward quiff he has going on at the minute he'd be lush. But no. Alex Alex Alex.

He was in american idol and had a mullet. HA I know right! But his voice is A-m-a-zing. He makes me melt. Also he doesn't have a mullet anymore and quite frankly is gorgeous. YOUTUBE his ass.

Ridiculously adorable. ♥